Last Goodbye
by Jing Mei Chen
Summary: One month after their breakup,Luka and Abby ask each other for closeure


I could have run after her.  
I could have kept my mouth shut.  
Let her go through life jaded.  
I couldn't.  
I had to sacrifice something.Something had to give.  
You can live a thousand lives,but only die once  
*************************  
This is our last goodbye  
I hate to feel the love between us die  
But it's over  
Just hear this and then i'll go  
You gave me more to live for  
More than you'll ever know  
*************************  
"Luka??" Carter called,walking up the walk to Abby's."What are you doing here?"  
  
So she gave herself to Carter  
  
"I need to ge my things"  
  
He nodded,"Hold on". Carter turned around and looked at me like I was a bomb waiting to explode.I hated him  
***************************  
This is our last embrace  
Must I dream and always see your face  
Why can't we overcome this wall  
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all  
***************************  
"Carter, no"  
  
"Abby"  
  
"I can't"  
  
"He..."  
  
"Are you taking his side??"  
  
"That's not fair,Abby.."  
  
"Try being me!"  
  
"Abby.."  
  
"I just can't"  
*************************  
I turned and walked away. She couldn't see me, I didn't her.  
  
We were both wrong.  
  
I should have ran after her.  
**************************  
Kiss me, please kiss me  
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation  
You know it makes me so angry 'cause i know that in time  
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye  
**************************  
Watching the El is the closest thing I could thik of to watching life. Sometimes I stand on the platform and it go on without me.  
  
This time it made me cry  
  
Speeding so fast into the night,somewhere it'll halt to a stop,breaks screeching.It'll fill itself with people.Mothers,fathers,wives and husbands. And they all have different stops.Different lives to live.  
  
Then the El,empty, will dash back into the night, rushing past me,leaving me with it's false cold wind in my face  
  
She was right.I was married to a ghost  
****************************  
Did you say "no, this can't happen to me,"   
And did you rush to the phone to call  
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind   
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all  
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know  
****************************  
I hate the saying "Move on"  
  
Sometimes it's almost impossible to move on.  
  
But you function.  
  
You get through each day.  
  
"You're married to a ghost"  
  
But I never got a chance to say goodbye.  
**************************  
Kiss me, please kiss me  
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation  
You know it makes me so angry 'cause i know that in time  
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye  
**************************  
"LUKA!" her voice cried out,muffled,"Where are you?"  
  
I stood quietly,listening  
  
"I can feel you.You're there.LUKA!"  
  
I turned my head in time to watch someone else's home burst into flames.Ours would be next.I'd never get a chance to help them out..  
  
But this wasn't Croatia.And it wasn't my wife's voice.Abby, shadowed by the night, stood outside my window,smoking  
  
"Luka?" Abby started,"Listen.."  
  
When it's something so painful to her, she looks away, to avoid your eyes.  
  
"Abby.."  
  
"No listen" she crossed her arms across her chest,"I figured I should be the bigger person.I'm sorry about.."  
  
I looked out behind her. The sky wasn't black,navy blue almost.  
  
"And I figured what you meant was.." her voice caught.Abby looked away again,"I'm sorry"  
  
"Abby"  
  
She shook her head and started to walk away from me  
  
"ABBY!"  
  
She stood frozen at the staircase,holding her breath  
  
"I didn't mean to hurt you"  
  
Her body tensed up, like she was trying to reject my words."Then why did you say it?"  
  
When I closed my eyes, she walked closer to me, a sign I was defenseless  
  
"I never got to say goodbye.I don't know how to move on.But you made it go away"  
  
I'll never forget that moment.It happened so fast.  
  
*******************************  
Well, the bells out in the church tower chime  
Burning clues into this heart of mine  
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories   
Offer signs that it's over... it's over  
*******************************  
"Why'd you say it Luka??" Abby replied,"Why'd you look me in the eyes and say it to my face?"  
  
I ran my fingers through my hair."I felt out of control.Am I not allowed to have my own life, my own friends?"  
  
She bit her lip  
  
"And I'm still mad.I'm angry, I have no control..she's gone"  
  
Abby touched my face lightly,"Luka.."  
  
"I close my eyes and she's there,I open them and you're gone" my voice shook,"I didn't mean it...please Abby" I closed my eyes  
  
She looked away  
  
"Don't leave me again.I want to see you when I open my eyes"  
  
Her face crumbled  
  
"Abby?"  
*************************************  
This is our last embrace  
Must I dream and always see your face  
Why can't we overcome this wall  
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all  
*************************************  
She let me keep one photo.  
  
She didn't keep anything.She let everything go.  
  
"Luka?" Abby squeezed my hand  
  
I nodded,watching the flames dance in my bathtub,charring the sides.  
  
"It's okay"  
  
I nodded,"I love you"  
  
"She's gone" Abby bit her lip,"Don't forget her,but don't blame yourself"  
  
I closed my eyes  
  
"It's not your fault.You're too.."  
  
I turned around and looked at her  
  
Abby swallowed hard,"Please don't look at me like that.I feel like I asked too much of you,like I asked you to give up too much"  
  
I walked over to her,sitting on the toilet, and took her face in my hands.  
  
"I'm sorry.I needed to do this,too"  
  
I bent down and kissed her slowly,letting out a loud sigh when she wrapped her arms around my neck."I love you"  
  
"I'm sorry" she whimpered on my shoulder  
  
I stroked her hair and let her cry,tears racing down my cheeks listening to her sobs."Marry me"  
  
Abby nodded,"Okay"  
  
A slow smile crept on my lips.The first time in a long time, that ache wasn't there. 


End file.
